people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize