my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize