I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize