pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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