the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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