Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
