Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
