I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
