Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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