Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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