She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
