You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
