This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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