you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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