OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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