Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My ass is underappreciated
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
