i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
