oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize