Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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