You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
