Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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