ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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