i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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