I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
