Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
