She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
