So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
