I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
