Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
