you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
