guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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