making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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