i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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