i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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