im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
