We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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