Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
