Are we in a gay sports bar?
the condom got lost in my hair
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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