Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
