Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
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I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize