can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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