I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
