You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
A bitchslap is in order.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
