guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
