it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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