Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
