When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
