Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

(740): View more from Ohio

Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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(606): View more from Kentucky

His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.

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(510): View more from California

After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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(407): View more from Florida

For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.

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