Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (540)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

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  (514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we
  Replies (9) Good night (719) Bad night (5247)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.

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  (518): He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong. http://tfl.nu/r133
  Replies (2) Good night (1278) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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  (910): Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook. http://tfl.nu/qwbp
  Replies (11) Good night (1284) Bad night (848)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

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  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3476) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be naked everywhere

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  (814): I will be naked everywhere http://tfl.nu/uvl6
  Replies (4) Good night (1823) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.

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  (704): Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second. http://tfl.nu/m6sh
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

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  (206): Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me. http://tfl.nu/pgvw
  Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.

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  (519): My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/s24c
  Replies (19) Good night (3617) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

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  (713): Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you. http://tfl.nu/5z0x
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle

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  (727): Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle http://tfl.nu/kzpk
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.

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  (925): Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer? (1-925): Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty. http://tfl.nu/4pgh
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle

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  (203): Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle http://tfl.nu/2uwk
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (256)

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