why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
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I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma