Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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  (703): I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay http://tfl.nu/jcra
  Replies (18) Good night (660) Bad night (6111)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

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  (859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00
  Replies (8) Good night (1111) Bad night (6041)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

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  (803): some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers http://tfl.nu/iyv4
  Replies (17) Good night (8728) Bad night (1167)
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  (310): View more from California

  You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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  (310): You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila. http://tfl.nu/3egv
  Replies (3) Good night (3219) Bad night (932)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?

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  (609): Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace? http://tfl.nu/pga4
  Replies (9) Good night (2107) Bad night (842)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (1767)
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  (831): View more from California

  i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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  (831): i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila http://tfl.nu/efvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1645) Bad night (642)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed

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  (774): I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed http://tfl.nu/b36x
  Replies (11) Good night (2876) Bad night (713)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!

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  (608): WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?! http://tfl.nu/0ru3
  Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (539)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck

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  (240): did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck http://tfl.nu/lph9
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (885)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.

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  (512): Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand. http://tfl.nu/mrxq
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (899)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (928) Bad night (379)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He said he wanted to "superfuck" me

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Does he wear a cape??

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  (812): He said he wanted to "superfuck" me (678): Does he wear a cape?? http://tfl.nu/0f5n
  Replies (4) Good night (1578) Bad night (389)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS

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  (609): Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS http://tfl.nu/rllj
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (655)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

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  (269): I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work http://tfl.nu/fkwe
  Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (351)

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