Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6

Replies (18) Good night (2525) Bad night (761)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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(573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp

Replies (10) Good night (6123) Bad night (677)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(701): Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize http://tfl.nu/1v86

Replies (50) Good night (4335) Bad night (746)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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(814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo

Replies (37) Good night (7387) Bad night (2148)
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(248): View more from Michigan

dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

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(248): dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call http://tfl.nu/9cld

Replies (66) Good night (1432) Bad night (5220)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.

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(205): I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology. http://tfl.nu/8ghc

Replies (18) Good night (1212) Bad night (4045)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

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(404): i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice. http://tfl.nu/2mv5

Replies (11) Good night (1029) Bad night (3424)
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(630): View more from Illinois

There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..

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(630): There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow.. http://tfl.nu/vffr

Replies (20) Good night (1490) Bad night (4313)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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(678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x

Replies (5) Good night (1450) Bad night (979)
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(208): View more from Idaho

i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week

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(208): i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week http://tfl.nu/49ff

Replies (1) Good night (1205) Bad night (401)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock

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(832): I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock http://tfl.nu/sqvr

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (414)
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(914): View more from New York

And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

(845): View more from New York

I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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(914): And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken. (845): I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa? http://tfl.nu/09c4

Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (379)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet

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(321): He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet http://tfl.nu/nzlh

Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (570)
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(813): View more from Florida

Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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(813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1

Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (275)
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(310): View more from California

I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.

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(310): I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r5b0

Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (656)

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