Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off http://tfl.nu/q8op
  Replies (33) Good night (7093) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now http://tfl.nu/tfy2
  Replies (2) Good night (2029) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop. http://tfl.nu/b39q
  Replies (15) Good night (2800) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant. http://tfl.nu/9xux
  Replies (1) Good night (2534) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (681): View more from West Virginia

  Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (681): Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most. http://tfl.nu/7o83
  Replies (12) Good night (2277) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis http://tfl.nu/97wg
  Replies (22) Good night (2091) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance http://tfl.nu/zdkv
  Replies (10) Good night (2383) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y
  Replies (13) Good night (1403) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals http://tfl.nu/45rk
  Replies (8) Good night (795) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (387): View more from

  The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (387): The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them? http://tfl.nu/qjyv
  Replies (11) Good night (1531) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh
  Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth. http://tfl.nu/h368
  Replies (11) Good night (2809) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts http://tfl.nu/dzv1
  Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored. http://tfl.nu/7kgx
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss" http://tfl.nu/0f55
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (543)

Randomize