Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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(403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1

Replies (8) Good night (703) Bad night (1905)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.

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(630): Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for? (1-630): Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun. http://tfl.nu/9dkv

Replies (17) Good night (4038) Bad night (692)
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(510): View more from California

just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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(510): just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i? http://tfl.nu/gdnc

Replies (7) Good night (3639) Bad night (909)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

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(847): Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now http://tfl.nu/tfy2

Replies (2) Good night (1911) Bad night (960)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

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(412): Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse... http://tfl.nu/ttob

Replies (8) Good night (1019) Bad night (3175)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

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(330): I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai... http://tfl.nu/9xr9

Replies (5) Good night (1845) Bad night (956)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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(204): Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god http://tfl.nu/wk7v

Replies (33) Good night (1346) Bad night (3291)
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(408): View more from California

He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!

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(408): He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!! http://tfl.nu/u5h8

Replies (14) Good night (2266) Bad night (525)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Let's just rave with boners that last for hours

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(410): Let's just rave with boners that last for hours http://tfl.nu/lox1

Replies (27) Good night (1725) Bad night (1019)
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(313): View more from Michigan

#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.

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(313): #1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/f6q8

Replies (7) Good night (1483) Bad night (521)
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(210): View more from Texas

I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy

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(210): I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy http://tfl.nu/96zr

Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (602)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How was the birthday sex?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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(610): How was the birthday sex? (1-610): Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs. http://tfl.nu/8fjx

Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (2059)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(+44): As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW http://tfl.nu/48d7

Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (386)
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(713): View more from Texas

The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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(713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5

Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (207)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"

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(604): When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof" http://tfl.nu/pdgz

Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (207)

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