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• (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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• (916): View more from California

  So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (229): View more from Georgia

  I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..

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• (424): View more from California

  I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why didn't we pregame for this?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it's breakfast!?!

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