the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts