its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize