i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
