Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
