i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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