If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she told me i tasted like america
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
