so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
