so explain again why im purple
no
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
