He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
