Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
