If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
